Friday, March 13, 2009

Demon-Possessed Twelve Year-Old General Manager Loli Wrestler… Greatest Gimmick EVER?

From Wikipedia:

"She's only twelve years old, but she's already been a champion.
She's known as President Ramu, and she's often paired with the mysterious and enigmatic Onryo, in the independent wrestling faction known as Triplesix, an offshoot of the Dramatic Dream Team organization, better known by its initials DDT (or its logo D2T).

DDT is a Japanese professional wrestling promotion founded in 1997 by Sanshiro Takagi. It became one of the top names in Japanese indy wrestling by creating a unique Sports Entertainment style with a Japanese puroresu flair to the matches. DDT started producing Pay-Per-View digests of its product on DirectTV during late 1999 to 2003 when they finally got an hour's timeslot on Samurai TV, Japan's premier sports channel which shows a lot of professional wrestling from both Japan and the United States. The cards' matches tend to be a mix of Japanese lucha, puroresu, hardcore brawling and comedy matches."
And the comedy segments are WAY over the top!

Surprisingly skilled in the wrestling ring as well as pretty good on the microphone, President Ramu started appearing in DDT/Triplesix when she was eight years old. Her character is a demon-possessed little girl who is the chairperson/general manager of Triplesix. Hailing from Devildom City, her official birthday is “Bees psychic death 14 years”. On top of that, she held the DDT Ironman Heavymetalweight Title, being the TRUE youngest champion ever!! (eat your heart out, Randy Orton)

Here’s a YouTube link of the President keeping her roster in line…
And here she is dishing out chokeslams like M&M’s at a Weight Watchers’ meeting…
Go ahead and complain on the message board if you must… but, President Ramu exposes the business less than a whole bunch of local Mississippi indy wrestlers I COULD mention.

And she’s over, too! Seriously, look at those vids again and pay attention to the crowd. Keep in mind that those folks are JAPANESE wrestling fans. The Japanese take their Pro Wrestling VERY seriously. If the hardest to please wrestling fans in the entire world are into the gimmick, then a few postings from a handful of anonymous marks isn’t going to sway my opinion that President Ramu is the GREATEST GIMMICK EVER!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

She's So Unusual!

Wendi Richter and Cydi Lauper

As of this posting, WWE has officially stated that Steve Austin, Ricky Steamboat, Terry Funk & Dory Funk Jr., Bill Watts and Koko B. Ware will be inducted as members of the WWE Hall of Fame, Class 2009 (with several ‘Net reports that the Von Erich Family will be inducted as a group). However, there hasn’t been an induction into the “Celebrity Wing” since William “The Refrigerator” Perry in 2006. The only other member of the “Celebrity Wing” is Charlie Hustle himself, Pete Rose. There are other deserving celebrities that have made contributions to the WWE and wrestling as a whole that deserve a place in the Hall of Fame. Andy Kauffman comes immediately to mind. So does Muhammad Ali. One would think that the 25th anniversary of Wrestle Mania would be the no-brainer induction of Mr. T… but there was another celebrity who appeared at the inaugural ‘Mania and was responsible for the whole “Rock N’ Wrestling Connection” in the first place. And I ain’t talkin’ Liberace!

It is way past time that the WWE recognizes the contributions of Cyndi Lauper for her role in making the company THE dominant force in the history of Pro Wrestling.

In the early-to-mid 1980’s there was a group of musicians who produced some of the most recognizable Rock and Pop songs in history. People such as Michael Jackson, Bruce Springsteen, Van Halen, Madonna, Prince, Culture Club and Lionel Ritchie ruled the music industry as they swept in and took over the charts after the New Wave invasion had run its course. Cyndi Lauper was a huge part of that era. Whether cranking out catchy kitsch like “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” and “She-Bop” or showing just how damn good a singer she was with “Time After Time” and “True Colors”, Lauper was an MtV staple. She was the first artist to have four top-five singles released from one album and has sold more than 25 million albums and singles worldwide.

"What ya gonna do with your life?"

Lauper’s involvement with the WWE began when the hated manager Captain Lou Albano appeared as her father in the music video “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun,” where the bug-eyed, rubberband-pierced Captain jobbed to the siren. Albano began feuding with Lauper in the WWE as he managed The Fabulous Moolah when her historic World Women’s Championship reign cam to an end at the hands of the Lauper-managed Wendi Richter. Albano, due to his popularity from the ‘Girls” video, began to hear the cheers of the fans more and more in each appearance. Seeing as how the “Attitude” era was still a good decade + away, it just wasn’t proper Pro Wrestling etiquette for the heels to get cheered, so they turned Captain Lou babyface. Moolah fired Albano and he became an ally of Richter and Lauper against Moolah and her crony Lelani Kai. Captain Lou was presented a “humanitarian award” by Lauper and Wolff at Madison Square Garden.

Enter the top WWE heel and all-around a-hole, “Rowdy” Roddy Piper.

The Rowdy Scot interrupted the presentation and unleashed his particular brand of mayhem by smashing the award over Lou’s head, body-slamming Wolff, and shoving Lauper hard to the mat. And who should come to the rescue but none other than your hero and mine, WWE Champion Hulk Hogan.

The footage aired in HEAVY rotation on MtV.

Piper began a war of words against Hogan, Lauper, MtV, Rock music and the human race in general. All of this led to “The War to Settle the Score” wrestling event that aired on MtV, which, in turn, set up the two main events for the very first WrestleMania:

1.) Hulk Hogan and Mr. T (with Jimmy Snuka) vs. Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff (with Bob Orton Jr.) and…
2.) Wendi Richter (with Cyndi Lauper) vs. Lelani Kai (with Moolah)

Yep… the celebrity/wrestler pairing of Lauper and Richter was given just as much hype as the duo of Mr. T and Hogan. Unfortunately, a SEVERE falling out between Richter and Vince McMahon shortly after ‘Mania resulted in Cydi Lauper’s role (and Richter’s) in making the event a huge success has been relegated as nothing more than another “WrestleMania Moment” footnote.

But, never say “never” where the WWE is concerned. There have been reports around the ‘Net that McMahon has extended an olive branch to Wendi Richter and is wanting her to appear in the 25 Diva Battle Royal to take place at ‘Mania’s silver anniversary. Surely if Bret Hart can make nice-nice, so can she. If Richter can finally get the recognition she deserves for helping make the McMahon Family uber-rich then so can Lauper.

Other than Mr. T, there is no other non-wrestler celebrity that deserves to be inducted into the WWE Hall Of Fame more than that unusual kid from Queens, Cyndi Lauper.
Lauper now

Monday, November 3, 2008

ACORN Voter Fraud: What's the Deal?

On the eve of the Presidential election, there is much controversy surrounding the past associations of Barrack Hussein Obama, the Democratic Party candidate. One of those associations is the “non-partisan” community organization group ACORN… particularly their “Project Vote” program to register new voters. Currently ACORN is under investigation by the FBI for voter registration fraud in 15 states. Of course, in the United States of America we operate under the assumption of innocence until guilt is proven. Being the fair-minded investigator I am, I PERSONALLY sought out individuals who have been registered by “Project Vote” to get their opinions on the ACORN program.

"Why, shoot! After the year I had I thought I'd never get to vote again. Thanks to ACORN, I can vote seven or eight times now. EAST BOUND AND DOWN!!!"

" Lithen, Buthter! I'm a world-famouth movie thtar! I never had the time to regithter to vote due to my hectic thchedule. ACORN made thure I didn't have to go through a big hathle. And I altho got to vote early in Ohio! WOO-HOO!"

"Them fellas gimme a whole carton a' menthols, a bottle a' hooch, an' a new 'fridgerater box ta live in. All I hadda do was sign muh name a buncha times. Them's good people."


Seriously, people... how can ANYONE dispute the integrety of ACORN and Senator Obama after those sincere testimonials by legally registered citizens?

My Interview With Jerry "The Man" Lawler

transcribed from audio tape; conducted Saturday, June 14, 2008; All-Pro “Thunder on the Water” show, Lake Geneda, MS
originally posted at Wednesday, June 18, 2008

About the Title: Jerry “The King” Lawler hates to do interviews. The last thing he wants to do when he’s not performing in the ring or commentating with Jim Ross is answer questions ABOUT wrestling. Can you blame him?

How many times can he talk about the Tupelo Concession Stand Brawl?

How many times can he say what it felt like when Eddie Gilbert ran him over with a car?

How many times does he have to explain the Andy Kauffman feud?

He has written a biography, “It’s Great to be the King… Sometimes”. He’s done a two-hour shoot interview with RFVideo. What more can he possibly say about Memphis Wrestling that he hasn’t already?

Of course, I already knew how much he hated to do wrestling interviews. Lawler was hesitant at first, but he grudgingly said he’d do the interview when I explained what I wanted to achieve. I wanted everyone to see a glimpse of Jerry Lawler, the MAN… not The King of Memphis Wrestling. After all was said and done, Lawler told me how much fun he had.

Yet ANOTHER shining example of why I am STILL the ONLY International Scholarship Award-Winning columnist to ply my trade HERE… The Official Website of “Hollywood” Jimmy Blaylock!

We started the ball rolling talking about Jerry “The Artist” Lawler.

LAWLER: I guess you’d have to be a hardcore fan of “The King” to know much about my art career. I was just blessed from childhood with the ability to draw, paint, and pretty much anything connected to art. I can remember drawing Superman and Batman when I was five years old, too often in school. I got in trouble, actually. Letters and notes sent home from my teachers because instead of doing homework or schoolwork, I’d be sitting there drawing. It finally paid off after doing that all through school when my high school art teacher, Helen Stahl, saved a lot of my work and put it together in a portfolio. She sent it to the University of Memphis and I won a full Art Scholarship. I went to college anticipating some sort of career in art. I had hopes of drawing Superman for DC Comics or American Greeting Cards for Hallmark, that sort of thing. Then I got sidetracked with wrestling… which came about BECAUSE of my art. I sent in some caricatures of the wrestlers to Memphis Channel 13, the home of Memphis Wrestling at the time. They showed my drawings on the air. I sent them some more the following week and they showed THOSE. Then they had me come on the show so the fans would know what I looked like. That’s where I first met the wrestlers. Jackie Fargo, the Big Dog in town, asked me to come and do some artwork for a club he owned with a local country singer Eddie Bond. That set the wheels in motion… doing artwork for these guys and seeing the lifestyle they had. I figured that if I could just wrestle ONE match I’d be happy and be done with it. Then I could go back to my art. The rest is history.

OLLIE: Who are the artists you’d say have been the biggest influence on your work?

LAWLER: As a singing artist, it would be Kamala the Ugandan Giant. When I heard his song “Making Love in a Rocking Chair” it made me want to get back into the studio and record again! {Kamala is sitting next to us} As far as “artist” artists? Frank Frazetta. Of course, Norman Rockwell. I’m in the process right now of buying a Norman Rockwell original. I’ve gotta pull the trigger on it by June 19th. Geez… $47,000 {shakes head}, but I think it’s an investment that’s going to increase in value. Neal Adams and some other comic book artists. Things like that.

OLLIE: Frank Frazetta vs. Boris Vallejo in a cage match. Who goes over?

LAWLER: Oh, Frank Frazetta, no doubt about that! Anybody else in the Fantasy Art world is just an imposter. Pretenders to the crown of Frank Frazetta!!

OLLIE: You talked earlier about drawing Superman when you were a kid. You’re set up to do some Superman art for the DC Comics website, right?

LAWLER: Yes. I’ve already submitted about four pieces. I don’t know exactly when it’s going to start, but it’s at and going to be on their “DC Artists Online Sketchbook”. It’s going to be a thing where they put up new art everyday on their website. Then I hope to go from that to doing some covers. That would be my ultimate, life-long dream fulfilled!

OLLIE: Let’s switch over and talk some softball! Is “King’s Army” still going strong?

LAWLER: Maaan, yeah! Still going strong. We won the league championship last year up in Memphis, TN. We play in a Wednesday night league right now. We don’t get to do the traveling team on Sunday anymore, which was so much fun. I’m usually out of town all the time on Sunday. We have a game this Wednesday night at 7:30 and I’m REALLY looking forward to it. Without a doubt it’s the highlight of my week.

OLLIE: As a former second baseman myself, I could tell the people reading this what it’s like to be on the field… but nobody likes me anyway, so they wouldn’t believe me. {Lawler laughs.} Maybe coming from you, King, could you explain to them what the appeal of softball is and why it IS so great?

LAWLER: Well, it’s just plain fun! It’s the camaraderie… especially if it’s a bunch of guys you’ve played with and been friends with for a long time. It’s a night out to relieve the stress of whatever day job you might have. No matter how much I get to hit people in my line of work, it doesn’t compare to knockin’ the ball out of the park! I love the competition. It’s just a lot of fun.

OLLIE: You collect Coca-Cola memorabilia, correct?


OLLIE: Why Coke when Pepsi tastes SO much better?

LAWLER: I actually DRINK Diet Pepsi… not that I DISLIKE Diet Coke… but I became a Coca-Cola memorabilia collector simply because I liked the artwork.

OLLIE: Yeah, it is classic design work.

LAWLER: You bet. You know, earlier when you asked me about my favorite artists, another name that on that list is the famous Coke artist, Haddon Sundblom. He’s the guy that did all of the Coca-Cola Santas that we all know and love today. I actually started collecting just their advertising art. Then I got a Coke machine from 1949. It seems like it just mushroomed from there. Every time I turned around somebody was either giving me something or I’d spot something while on the road. Before I knew it, my collection went from a Coca-Cola room to a Coca-Cola HOUSE! {Laughter}

OLLIE: One final question. A few years ago you ran for the Mayor’s Office in Memphis…


OLLIE: Now… without getting into any specifics about the race or whether you’re Democrat, Republican, conservative, liberal, whatever… let me put it like this… There are two kinds of politicians: CAREER politicians and then there are people from the private sector who choose to serve the public. Now…

LAWLER: Boy, you said that exactly right! I ran on the platform that I was NOT a politician, which is what we need more of. But, unfortunately if you win the job, if you get elected, the job MAKES you a politician. And that’s really sad.

OLLIE: Usually when people run from the private sector, there’s an event or series of events that leads to what I call a “Come to Jesus Moment” where one gets fed up and decides that they need to run in some sort of capacity as a public servant. Was it anything like that when you decided to run?

LAWLER: Well… I don’t think I had… no, I didn’t have a moment like that. When I got into the race, I went with absolutely no expectations of winning. Honestly… I went into it for the publicity. Not necessarily a publicity STUNT… just knowing that even if I ran as hard as I possibly could, I didn’t have the money to compete with Willie Harrington, who had over a million dollars to work with. You know, I spent $29,000 and he spent a million and I STILL came in third place with only about 17,000 or 20,000 less votes than him. But, I started out not thinking I could win. The further along I got, all of a sudden I started thinking that it might just be a possibility. As a matter fact, the night of the election I started thinking, “ I MIGHT just wake up in the morning as the mayor of the 18th largest city in the whole United States!” Now THAT was my “Come to Jesus Moment” right there, I’ll tell you! It was a scary thought. In retrospect… I have mixed feelings. I’m glad I didn’t win for the fact that I’ve always enjoyed what I’ve done. I’ve been so fortunate that I’ve had a great life, a wonderful career doing something I would’ve actually paid someone to let me do, I’ve had a fun life. And I know for a fact that no matter how much I might have changed the city of Memphis, it would’ve been no fun. No fun at all. I can look back at it now and know that being the mayor of a city like that with all the pressure and the other stuff that goes along with it, it is NOT a fun job. Now it might be a LUCRATIVE job where you can become rich by padding your pocket… which is the reason I think people run for mayor in big cities… that’s not what I was after. You know, a lot of voters really need to wake up. If they ever see someone in a race who is NOT a politician that has money and doesn’t need to look for kickbacks and special favors, that’s the person to vote for. Unfortunately there’s not many of those running. Power is such a huge drug and so many of these politicians are so power hungry. They win these elections and just go crazy. Just look at our country now. It’s so sad that when George Bush took office the price of oil was $24 a barrel and now it’s $138.

OLLIE: And it’s doubled from $69 in just the year and a half since the Democrats took over Congress.

LAWLER: I’m not going to say who I’m for because, honestly, I’m not for anybody. John McCain, Hilary Clinton, Barrack Obama… it just amazes me that in a country with a population of millions and millions of people that THIS is the best we have to offer. It’s a sad, sad, sad commentary. This is a situation where most people are going to vote AGAINST somebody rather than vote FOR somebody. That’s the point we’re at because of so much corruption by politicians. There’s an old, classic movie everyone needs to watch for a history reminder, “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington”.

OLLIE: Jimmy Stewart movie.

LAWLER: Right. It’s just so true about what can happen, even if you get an honest guy in office. I really don’t know if there is anything that can be done to change it.

OLLIE: Well, King… I appreciate the time you spent with this interview. Of course, we here at spare NO expense when it comes to showing our appreciation.

LAWLER: Uh-oh…

OLLIE: On behalf of everyone associated with this website, we’d like to present you with “Small Wonders: The Cartoon Art of Frank Frazetta”. It’s a collection of some of his rare cartoon artwork from the 1940’s.

LAWLER: “Rare” is right! This is one of the very few art books of his that I DON’T have. I can’t believe this. I don’t think I’ve even heard of this one. Wow.

OLLIE: Like I said, “spare no expense.” We even got Frazetta to sign it!

LAWLER: How did you manage that?

OLLIE: {shows Lawler a blank page} Invisible ink.

LAWLER: {Laughs} Thank you, so much. That is a really beautiful book right there.

OLLIE: Aw, I had and extra copy anyway.

LAWLER: Oh, I see how you are! No, really… I deeply appreciate that. You don’t know how much.

OLLIE: Don’t mention it, King. This is Ollie “By Golly” Brodford… “Brodford”? Man, I can’t even say my own gimmick name.

LAWLER: Just say “Ollie By Golly”. And I’m “Hairy Jerry”.

OLLIE: “Hairy Jerry”? I can’t let you leave on that one. Where did “Hairy Jerry” come from?

LAWLER: Well … {chuckles} Ric Flair, you know, had quite the reputation with the women, right?

OLLIE: Go on…

LAWLER: So Ric, for some reason, liked women who had… um… how can we say this so we can put it on the website?

OLLIE: 70’s shag carpeting?

LAWLER: HA! That’s good! Maybe even before that. Anyway, Flair always had a motto and everyone in wrestling knew it, “No Hair, No Flair!” I told Flair one time that my motto was just the opposite, “If You’re Hairy, No Jerry!” So let’s end on THAT!

OLLIE: I think that might be best, too.

Here are some links to check out concerning topics discussed in this interview.